Hello, Today blog is A memoir counterfactual to blog #5. In this blogs I have to pretend what if things had turn out different. What if my ex and I had work things out the outcome would of be different. I hope you enjoy. Its was another hot day in South Carolina. My phone rang, and it was my boyfriend. “Hey babe how are you doing today”? I am doing great babe, how are you? “I was just having a conversation with my mom about us trying to work things out” What did she say? Before you answer that question. We are grown enough to make our own decision. Why every time we have a disagreement you have to run to your mom. Its just not fair, it’s not like my mom is here and I could run to her too. It’s just not fair. “I hear you babe; I promise you from today on we work out thing out on our own.” Babe I been feeling really sick lately and am not sure what going. I am going to head to the doctor just to make sure everything is ok. When I get back, I give you a call later. Bye love you. Hey babe, I am back from the doctors, where are you now? I got something to tell you. Babe I am Pregnant. “Pregnant”. Am I hearing you right? Stop joking around you know I want a little junior. Yes pregnant, you heard me right. “That great news babe, See God is already working in our favor”. I am glad you are happy and cheers to a new beginning of our new life. We will start fresh and create great life for our child. I see you later, love you “Love you Too.
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Hello, Its blog number 5 for English compositons class. This week I am writing about an Emotional scene with Dialogue and Symbolism. To help me with my writing I had to read My Name is Margaret (Maya Angelou) and Hills Like White Elephants It was a regular hot day in the South Carolina. I was sitting at home when I got the phone call from my ex. I was happy he called because we were trying to rekindle our relationship. Our conversation started out pleasant until he drop the bomb on me. I was so hurt I hang the phone up and called my best friend at the time. A point in my life I was at lowest turn out to be best gift to me. Hey, Sandra. Today am having a pretty rough day. I don’t feel like being on this planet. My heart hurts so much I just Can’t take it.“What is the problem Sandra said”? “He Called and said I should apologies to his mother before we can get back together”. Hmm, Really Sanatra. What are you going to do? I don’t feel like I should have to apologies to his mother, we are grown people in our relationship. I wish he had said something before we hook up again. I tired of this on and off again relationships. I am not going to apologies and called it quits in this relationship I had enough. “Sanatra you have to do what makes you happy”. I am done Sandra, am really done with him.“You have to be strong and follow your heart, you will be alright. Just continue to pray and everything will be alright”. Thank you, Girl, for always being there when I need someone to talk too. “No problem, love you talk to you soon.” I hang up and still wasn’t feeling great. I walked around my house feeling lost and just didn’t want to be on this planet. I took a shower and decided to head to bed. I couldn’t sleep, I felt dizzy and nausea. I prayed lord please comfort me, for this heartache is unbearable. I Prayed and prayed but the pain just wont go away. I reach for the bottle of ibuprofen 800 mg and Advil. My hand is shaking, my heart is beating out of chest but I was ready to stop the pain in my heart. I took 3 ibuprofen and 4 Advil and went to bed. I ask god forgiveness as I lay in dark staring at the ceiling and drifted asleep. Bang, bang the loud noise woke me up. I layed on bed and cried why me. I ran water in the tub and sat in it. Hi Sandra, I cried. “Why are you crying so early in the morning” Last night I tried to kill myself. “You what? “I am on my way”. There was knock at the door, its Sandra. “What the Rass gwon with you”. In her depth accent. “You Fin to let ah man have all the power over you”. “Get your bumbaclot ass up and the fuck out of this funk”. Sandra I just don’t feel well. “Shit my ass won’t feel well if I try killing myself like am a big stupidity”. My heart, my stomach, everything Hurts. “Get in the shower we about to head to the clinic”. Good Morning, I will like to see the doctor please. “What brings you in this morning” said the receptionist. I am just not feeling well, I got really bad cramps in my stomach and my head is pounding. “ok have a seat and the doctor will be with you” “MS Charles, you can come and back” “Are you going tell him you took all those pills last night” No just plain no. “Ms Charles I hear you having Bad cramp and headache”? “How long has this been going on” The headache a few days and stomach pain started last night. “When was your last menstrual”? “Last month”. “Ok let get started, does it hurt when I push on your stomach” “No”. “I need you take a pregnancy test just to rule out you are not pregnant”. “Ok”. “MS Charles, I got the test back and you are pregnant” What? You got to be kidding me. Tears started rolling down my face I just can’t not believe this Sandra. I Finally made up my mind and stand my ground and here I am pregnant for this fool. I walked out the doctor office nervous and happy. A few hours ago, I decided to do something stupid. I was feeling lonely and heart broken. Three little words change my life. “You are pregnant” I now had a reason to live. Hello again, and welcome back. Today blog is about the writing process. I had to creating a scene, 3 quotes of my own and 3 quotes from each Author of the following text and annotate. It was regular day on the # 2 train from Manhattan to Brooklyn. Everyone was in their own world. I found a seat in the corner to my surprise. I pull out my book, ear plugs, paper and pen. I stared reading and taking notes. I try my best to stay focus but at every stop the door will open and people got in and out of the train. I look up and three individuals enter and sat in the seat across from me. I went back to reading and taking notes, when someone out of the blue said, is the ear plugs really working? I looked up to see who the person was, that was trying to interrupt me as I was busy taking notes. She said, "Hi, my name is Mary Karr, and theses are my friends Don Murray and Ann Lamont." I said "hi" back and introduced myself and returned to my work. When Don Murray asked me what I was reading. I told him I was reading a book and doing research for a paper I have to write for my English class. I said to him I am not really good at writing, but "I needed to do my best." When Don Murray said, “The writing process itself can be divided into 3 stages: pre-writing, writing, and rewriting”. I said, "Thank you Don. I never thought of writing in that way, I just thought of it as too much work". Don replied, “Writing is the act of creating a first draft." Anne Lamont said “Almost all good writing begins with terrible first efforts. You need to start somewhere. Start by getting something— anything—down on paper”. I was amazed and couldn’t believe in million years I will bumped into three writers on the train Then again, its New York. You never know who you will run into. I took my ear plugs out and listen to what they had to say, took notes of the things they were sharing with me. I felt like a sponge, soaking all the information about the writing process. Mary said, “ 1) Writing is painful—it’s “fun” only for novices, the very young, and hacks; (2) other than a few instances of luck, good work only comes through revision; (3) the best revisers often have reading habits that stretch back before the current age, which lends them a sense of history and raises their standards for quality”. I said thank you to Mary. I was so nervous and felt like a fish out of water . I thought to my self If writing is going to be painful why would I want to write. I guess Don saw the hesitant in me. He said, " Don’t look back. Yes, the draft needs fixing. But first it needs writing.” “Be patient, listen quietly, the writing will come”. I replied thank you Don, " I will take all you advice and applied to my writing". My stop was soon approaching I started gathering my things and thank Mary ,Don and Anne for all advice on writing. I said it was pleasure meeting them. Anne replied, " likewise and said let me give you a little more advice. "Writing has so much to give, so much to teach, so many surprises. That thing you had to force yourself to do—the actual act of writing—turns out to be the best part". I smile as i got of the train and said thank you again. In this blog I had to write a letter to my author-self base on reading I did by A Fable for the Living (Kevin Brockmeier) . My hopes is to face writing head on, I Know its not always going be smooth sailing . I am more determining than ever and refuse to let writing be my delay.
Dear Image girl, Today I feel like crying, I am here writing to you just to say am sorry for not taking you seriously over the years. I never felt the need to write other than a grocery list. I am here today to promise you to take you seriously. I promised whether if it’s just to write to say quick hello, I will try my best. I won’t let my everyday life keep me from you. To be honest I am scared to write to you, what to write to you about? Sometimes seeings thing on paper, I am confronted with your hopes, dream and fears. I feel like am drowning with fears of writing but I know if continue I will get better. Please stay on this journey with me, I know there will be times I feel like giving up for example today. Then I think to myself, it will be a repeat of running away when writing gets hard. If I you quite now all the dreams and goals you set for the future will just be another delay. I am asking you to be patience with me as I write. As you know its been awhile since I hard to sit down and face you head on. I feel like seeds drop from a package and left there, but with sunlight and water you will blossom. As I continue on this journey you will come up on top. Don’t be afraid to ask questions if you feel defeated, take a break and breath if you need to. I am proud of you for what you have accomplish so far. But always remember it doesn’t matter how many times you fall, get up and keep trying. Love Sanatra In this post, I write a letter to myself as a way to make sense of my lived experiences. Professor Mangini says I could use some of this material for my memoir.
Dear Sanie, Where do we start, Who knew at the tender of age of 12 leaving your mom and moving to a new country will change your life. Do you remember that day March 13th 1998? Its way hot sunny dayyou board that plane with two of your siblings heading for the united states of America. You were excited and nervous for what life had in store for you. 5 hours plane trip you landed at J.F.K. airport on a cold March 13th and you were no properly dress when the cold winter breeze hit you straight in the face and tears began to roll down your face from the cold. Who knew Sanie that your life will never be the same? A little Island girl with no worried in world, who walked bare feet in mud, when to river the catch grayfish, bathe, wash clothes and just hang out with your cousins and friends and hard the best times of your childhood. Here you are, park slope Brooklyn New York and its cold and even dough you have your siblings, life as you know it will never be the same. It’s cold and you are lock up inside with no sense of community around you. Everyone is inside their house and even as you walk flight of stair to second floor and say good morning or afternoon to person on the stairs, they just walk by with out with even responded back. Sanie not something you are used to but the worst of it all has not hit you yet. Your first day of school will be a shock, Kids wear regular clothes and you are used to wearing uniforms that had to be iron and neat to attend school You were giving a student guide for the first week of school and as you enter the home room all eyes were on you, the new girl, felt like thousands of piercing eyes looking you up and down as you introduce yourself and so many questions on your first day. Junior high was ruff, you were tease for the way you pronouns words and the clothes you wears. Sanie I don’t even know how you made it through junior high, but you did. Sanie that was not even the hardest part of your life, here you are leaving with a dad you never leaved with for 12years of your life. He has no idea on her two be father, and thinks money solve all the issues. You will bumped head with him until theirs is no looking back. Somehow you figure how to coexist in the same until everything comes falling down. 14th years of age your dad and you will have the worst fight which will leave you homeless and have to fend for yourself. After a month of sleeping at different friend’s house, your mom sister will come to your rescue. You will move with her and her family and pray for the best. She feed you, put on clothes your back and provide a roof over your head but you will never be at ease. The fight between your father and your Aunt will take on a new meaning and you will get got in the middle going back on forth from house to house. Your mother will write you long letters about keeping your head held up high and be a good girl. I knew she was worried sick, but you will never complain because she already had 6 other mouths to feed and one less mouth to feed was a help for her in my opinion. You will deal 2 years of back and forth between your dad and your aunt until you were told you were going be send back to Grenada. When out of the blue an uncle who you have never meet in your life offer to take you in or move back to Grenada. Thinking about all you been through and the burden of moving back to Grenada to your mom. You decided to take the offer from the uncle you never meet and move to State College, PA. A move that will change your life for the better. Your uncle was strict and was all about educations. He was well educated man and teach at one of best school, Penn State university. Now you are 17th and enroll in high School at the end of your junior and wish you were there from 9th grade. You will grade, applied for college but never attend. You work will crap jobs and then boom you are 18th and you think you grown. You tell your uncle; you are moving out on your 18th birthday and to your surprised he will encourage you to explore the world but remember there’s always a place called home. Your journey will take you on life experience you will be forever grateful for. You will move to Allentown; PA start work for few months meet a guy have your heart broken move back home for a while. Move out again to Philadelphia work meet a guy that will change your life. You and this young man will move to South Carolina and after 4 years of living and dating each other you broke up. To your surprise a few weeks later at your lowest point you get the news that you are expecting a child. Your pain has now turn into joy. You have a reason for living, 9 months flew by you welcome a baby girl. A healthy beautiful girl, the best thing that could happen to you since living your mother. You have a reason to live, dream and protect your daughter from all that you been through. 8 months after having your daughter you decided to head back up north and settle back in Philadelphia. You delicate yourself to work and your daughter. You will get promoted at job but turn the offer because the schedule did not work with daughter schedule. 5 years will pass you by, you will work hard buy your first house and few months later meet your soulmate date for two years and welcome your second child a healthy baby girl, and a year later married your soulmate. Sanie Girl you have been through so much over the years. Today feel accomplish in your own rights. You have a beautiful family and the sky is your limit. |
Sanatra Cahrles-BrowneI will use this blog to help track my growth and become a better writer. Archives
May 2020
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