In this post, I write a letter to myself as a way to make sense of my lived experiences. Professor Mangini says I could use some of this material for my memoir.
Dear Sanie, Where do we start, Who knew at the tender of age of 12 leaving your mom and moving to a new country will change your life. Do you remember that day March 13th 1998? Its way hot sunny dayyou board that plane with two of your siblings heading for the united states of America. You were excited and nervous for what life had in store for you. 5 hours plane trip you landed at J.F.K. airport on a cold March 13th and you were no properly dress when the cold winter breeze hit you straight in the face and tears began to roll down your face from the cold. Who knew Sanie that your life will never be the same? A little Island girl with no worried in world, who walked bare feet in mud, when to river the catch grayfish, bathe, wash clothes and just hang out with your cousins and friends and hard the best times of your childhood. Here you are, park slope Brooklyn New York and its cold and even dough you have your siblings, life as you know it will never be the same. It’s cold and you are lock up inside with no sense of community around you. Everyone is inside their house and even as you walk flight of stair to second floor and say good morning or afternoon to person on the stairs, they just walk by with out with even responded back. Sanie not something you are used to but the worst of it all has not hit you yet. Your first day of school will be a shock, Kids wear regular clothes and you are used to wearing uniforms that had to be iron and neat to attend school You were giving a student guide for the first week of school and as you enter the home room all eyes were on you, the new girl, felt like thousands of piercing eyes looking you up and down as you introduce yourself and so many questions on your first day. Junior high was ruff, you were tease for the way you pronouns words and the clothes you wears. Sanie I don’t even know how you made it through junior high, but you did. Sanie that was not even the hardest part of your life, here you are leaving with a dad you never leaved with for 12years of your life. He has no idea on her two be father, and thinks money solve all the issues. You will bumped head with him until theirs is no looking back. Somehow you figure how to coexist in the same until everything comes falling down. 14th years of age your dad and you will have the worst fight which will leave you homeless and have to fend for yourself. After a month of sleeping at different friend’s house, your mom sister will come to your rescue. You will move with her and her family and pray for the best. She feed you, put on clothes your back and provide a roof over your head but you will never be at ease. The fight between your father and your Aunt will take on a new meaning and you will get got in the middle going back on forth from house to house. Your mother will write you long letters about keeping your head held up high and be a good girl. I knew she was worried sick, but you will never complain because she already had 6 other mouths to feed and one less mouth to feed was a help for her in my opinion. You will deal 2 years of back and forth between your dad and your aunt until you were told you were going be send back to Grenada. When out of the blue an uncle who you have never meet in your life offer to take you in or move back to Grenada. Thinking about all you been through and the burden of moving back to Grenada to your mom. You decided to take the offer from the uncle you never meet and move to State College, PA. A move that will change your life for the better. Your uncle was strict and was all about educations. He was well educated man and teach at one of best school, Penn State university. Now you are 17th and enroll in high School at the end of your junior and wish you were there from 9th grade. You will grade, applied for college but never attend. You work will crap jobs and then boom you are 18th and you think you grown. You tell your uncle; you are moving out on your 18th birthday and to your surprised he will encourage you to explore the world but remember there’s always a place called home. Your journey will take you on life experience you will be forever grateful for. You will move to Allentown; PA start work for few months meet a guy have your heart broken move back home for a while. Move out again to Philadelphia work meet a guy that will change your life. You and this young man will move to South Carolina and after 4 years of living and dating each other you broke up. To your surprise a few weeks later at your lowest point you get the news that you are expecting a child. Your pain has now turn into joy. You have a reason for living, 9 months flew by you welcome a baby girl. A healthy beautiful girl, the best thing that could happen to you since living your mother. You have a reason to live, dream and protect your daughter from all that you been through. 8 months after having your daughter you decided to head back up north and settle back in Philadelphia. You delicate yourself to work and your daughter. You will get promoted at job but turn the offer because the schedule did not work with daughter schedule. 5 years will pass you by, you will work hard buy your first house and few months later meet your soulmate date for two years and welcome your second child a healthy baby girl, and a year later married your soulmate. Sanie Girl you have been through so much over the years. Today feel accomplish in your own rights. You have a beautiful family and the sky is your limit.
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Sanatra Cahrles-BrowneI will use this blog to help track my growth and become a better writer. Archives
May 2020
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